They're refreshing!

Went to the OG today. (That's "Ockley Green," for all those non-homies out there.)
I didn't teach, but I realized something: In the midst of so much chaos this week, and in addition to the muscle relaxers I'm now taking for my back that I have so cruelly abused with stress and freeweights, Ockley Green was my solace. I had a blast. It was relaxing, in a way. I revelled in seeing my favorite students, I zipped through entering grades, and I enjoyed joking around with the troublemakers. Lots of students call me by name, and many ask what I'm teaching the next day. I think maybe, just maybe, I'm starting to enjoy this...

I have, as mentioned earlier, sustained some sort of back injury. Heating pads, muscle relaxers that don't work, useless Ibuprofin, painful massages, interrupted sleep, etc. etc. *sigh* What have I done to myself?

Crammed (edit)

Things to do in the next four days:
*Create a text set: time to complete, approx. 4-5 hours
*Send three reflections to Jan
*Send one reflection to John, along with lesson plan (still need to write) for Friday (which I need to teach), and figure out our schedule for the rest of December
*Grade about 110 papers
*Record those grades
*Create an hour-long presentation for Mary (Wednesday) on Intrinsic Motivation
*Create an entire unit plan for Jan, complete one of the lessons, and incorporate it into a 2 hour long presentation for Tuesday. This includes painting, typing roughly 20 pages, creating a portfolio
*Create an hour long presentation of Chapter 13 for Sally's class on Monday
*Make a collage/write-up for a short presentation for Fred's class on Monday

Also:
*Interview the principal and write a paper about it
*Read four chapters, finish semester-long project (approx. 4 hours)
*Write a paper for Fred

Once in a lifetime...

Once in a lifetime, something remarkable comes your way...

Something that is so amazing, that you must share it with everyone--shout it from the rooftops!

My friends, something remarkable has come to me, and I must share it.



This is the ugliest wedding dress I've ever laid eyes on. In a hunt for vintage 1940's accessories for a group project, I stumbled upon this beauty described as "'New' western-style 1980s wedding dress."



















Please, friends, notice the striking shoulder pads, the cuffed sleeves, the peek-a-boo cleavage hole, the sassy plastic belt, and the fringe... Oh, goodness, the fringe!

Let's play a game...

Who can come up with the best caption for this photo?

Aud's Bod Blog

I decided I need a place to regularly catalogue my weight loss/healthy living progress. Now, I will no longer be updating on that subject on this blog. If you're interested, you can follow along here, at audsbodblog.blogspot.com.

Please shoot me if I ever do this

Let's establish some things first.

I am at Winco. For those of you who have not been, it is a busy place full of dumb people.
Also, you bag your own groceries. Dumb people have trouble bagging sometimes. I understand this happens, and I have patience so I continue to shop at Winco. James refuses, unless we need to get a lot of stuff, and I go with him. He shops at Safeway.
Anyway, Winco's cashier setup looks like this:














A: Cashier. A Winco cashier is easily spotted in a crowd by looking for dull, lifeless eyes and a fake half-smile. Usually they can't even muster a whole smile, or even a three-quarters one. Their soul has been sucked dry from perhaps only a few days of employment.
F: The box surrounding F is where you pay, i.e. debit card machine and place to write checks.
The two long boxes (B is located in one) are two separate moving tracks where the cashier puts your groceries after scanning them. There is also a button at the other end for customers to push to move the track to get their groceries as they come down the line.
The two smaller boxes (C) is a space to bag your groceries. Bagging is difficult without this space.

So, with that established, let us proceed to the abhorrition of etiquette.
There is this horrendous woman who has purchased an entire year's worth of groceries all in one go, but has limited funds, so she is making the cashier give a continual running total of the groceries. Sometimes, she stops him and makes him take items away. She has two shopping carts overflowing with frozen chicken and top ramen and anything else she could stuff in there.

This is what the shopping carts looked like. On the left, you'll see what looks like a deranged doll. It's not. It's supposed to be a small child. I included it because I figured that if the woman had any small children, they would have easily been misplaced amongst her plethora of Cheetos and bbq sauce.


























The cashier's not done scanning her things, and she already has things piled up on both tracks. Point E represents a shopping cart that is already full of purchased groceries. Horrendous woman is point D, "bagging" things. This woman is the slowest bagger I've ever witnessed. She was picking out items one at a time to strategically place in her empty cart. I understand watching eggs and bananas, but COME ON!! Bacon? Bacon will be FINE next to that 8-lb jar of pickles. So will paper towels. Anyway, there is a lengthy line forming behind her (there is someone in between us, and several people after me). The cashier must wait for her to bag a few things before he can even scan anything else. Then her phone rings and she answers. So now, the slowest woman in the world is now TWICE as slow because she only has one arm free. Apparently, the gossip was extremely important. I've begun staring at her... and I generally don't stare. It's rude. I'm not rude. This woman is rude.
So the woman in between us only has about six items. She has the cashier ring her up and she just plunks the stuff back in her cart, sans bag. She takes about twenty seconds for her entire transaction.
Now it's my turn. I have about four bags worth of things, so I need the track. We wait. The cashier rings up what he can of mine. We wait more. Woman: "Oh my GOSH! Yeah. Yeah. Uh huh... (plunks one item in her cart) No way! -Blah blah blah blah-" (plunks another item in her cart). Finally she has cleared what she thinks is enough things so that I can get my stuff. I try to move my cart down to the end, but point E symbolizes where she has politely left her full cart sitting in the middle of the aisle. It's OBVIOUS that I'm trying to move (points G1 to G2). Oh, and "TP" represents the ginormous thing of toilet paper at the end of the track. And the light blue lines where point C was on the earlier drawing (where I'm supposed to bag) is her twenty loaves of jumbo sized bread. And point F is her half-ingested Sprite.
So, I interrupt her precious phone call. "Yeah, if you could move your cart out of the way, I could get my groceries." She moves her cart about a foot. I shove it the rest of the way. She continues bagging on the other side. I say, "Yeah, is this your toilet paper? It'd be great if you could move it." So she does, while giving me a "look." Continues talking, bagging. "Oh, and your bread is in my way, too."
My tone was not very chipper. One could say we were NOT exchanging pleasantries. Well, I guess she wasn't really talking back, as she was still wrapped up in her phone conversation.
Finally, I get to bag things. The person in line behind me now has many things ready to bag, so I must be fast. I finish all my groceries (4 bags) in the time it takes her to bag one.
Usually, I'm much more patient and understanding of people. Normally I would have helped her bag, or helped her move her things. But no. When people show that level of inconsiderate, asinine public behavior, they get no such sympathy from me. I was terribly tempted to grab the phone out of her hand and explain to her the tenets of etiquette. Yes, I admit it--I was going to go Martha Stuart on her ass.

Instead, I called Hubby, and he politely and patiently heard my story. Such a good husband to hear his wife call up and say, "Oh. My. Gosh. You will NEVER believe what happened at the grocery store." Hey, at least I wasn't talking about shoe shopping.

Announcement!

No, we're not having a baby.

...but we have come to a decision.

This summer, James and I are planning to move to Spokane, Washington.

Some of you know that Spokane kinda creeps me out. It does. I will admit that. The creepiness is a little hard to explain... like maybe Spokane is full of ghosts or something.

So why have we decided Spokane? Well, despite the mysterious ghosty feeling, Spokane fits (most) every criteria James and I have for a place to live. It's still in the Northwest, which means both the ocean and much of our family is near... it's small enough that the city doesn't have huge problems, but it's big enough that it doesn't have super small town problems, and there are job opportunities for both of us. Also, it's near CdA, and I have a support system there as well. We like outdoorsy things, and the area's full of them... plus, Canada isn't too far away, so if we have to leave the country in a hurry, that won't be too hard. Oh, and a MAJOR incentive: housing prices are super cheap, but the houses are super perfect for us. Larger lots (yay! gardening space!), cute turn-of-the-century houses, lots of parks nearby. Hardwood floors abound, as do big garages/shops for James. So... let's hope I can find a job!











PS: Why don't they pronounce it Spoh-cane? (Rhymes with "insane")

Snuggles for us, snuggles for you!

Can you believe it's already been a year?!
Well, I guess many of you can believe that. But it's gone by so fast for James and I!
Happy first Anniversary, Hubby!














The little skunk has been extra cuddly lately. We think he's entered his pseudo-hibernation mode. These were taken all in one day.












Notice I've censored that picture, both to preserve Toby's dignity, and for those who have sensitive eyes. See his shaved bum? Isn't it hilarious!?


And Toby and James taking a nap together. AWWE! Look at skunkie's little nose! Sniff sniff!
I had to pull the covers back to take the picture of Toby, as all you could see was his little nose sticking out. He had crawled under the covers to snuggle with Daddy.

Misfits

I ate a ginormous sirloin steak French dip sandwich for lunch. With fruit, not fries. Still: 1000 calories. *sigh* Sorta a mistake, but I'm still not hungry and I ate it four hours ago, so there's hope that I will last the night with a meager 200 calories available for dinner.

Tomorrow: no school, no school. If it's not pouring, I'll plant the rest of my bulbs, which I have neglected. I'll have a lopsided garden in the spring if I don't act fast.

A week from tomorrow: I'm helping chaperone the middle school dance! What joy. Kristin's tips: wear comfortable shoes, take frequent breaks from the putrid gym air. I hope they play "Forever Young"!

Next Saturday I'm taking two more Praxis tests. Ugh!

My muscles are sore from yoga yesterday. "Feel the power!"

I've been thinking a lot lately of where James and I are going to move. I really want to stay in the Northwest. Please, Universe, help us find the perfect place!

I love autumn. I love houses. I love houses in autumn, with trees in the front and a porch with pumpkins. *sigh*

Today...

Woke up, ate half a vegan blueberry mango cranberry bran muffin and a glass of water.
Did yoga while skunk ran around (and under) me, making mischief. I think he was jealous of the video, because as soon as it stopped (I was sitting cross-legged on the floor) he ran up and plunked right onto my lap and closed his little eyes with delight. Oftentimes, I stop and think: It's kinda weird that a skunk just ran up and plopped down in my lap.
Then I ate the other half of the muffin. Only 220 calories in the whole thing! Vegan muffins rock.

Jello baths, pig, Cancun

James and I experienced a new restaurant that everyone must try: Bamboo Grove. One of my fellow student teachers at Ockley Green is Hawaiian and he said it was "the best restaurant" he'd ever been to, as far as authentic Hawaiian fare and atmosphere is concerned. It really was fantastic. James and discovered that even when we want to, we just can't eat as much in one meal as we used to--we get stuffed! So, today's lunch: grilled luau-style Kahlua pork sandwiches. (For those of you who have never had luau-style pig--it's terrific! They dig a pit in the sand and line it with banana leaves and slowly roast an entire pig for the whole day. Bamboo Grove offers it only on Friday, because it's such a process to make!) MMMmmmm!

Toby isn't feeling very well today. I think he got into something last night he shouldn't have, and his little tummy is upset. He won't even beg for food. Poor little guy!

Emily and Keith are in labor! Little Neaman will be here any minute!! We're getting periodic updates on her blog. First update: "I'm having a baby." Second update: "I really liked my jello bath." Third update: "I'm hungry!" I can't believe the woman is IN LABOR AT THE HOSPITAL and she's still updating us! What a woman! She also mentions that she and Keith are making a funny video for us. James said, "It won't be so funny for long!"

Nick and Tiffany-Ann are going to Cancun for a week over Thanksgiving. ¡Soy celoso!
¿Usted me tomará con usted?

Guess what I have on my computer now? Photoshop!

Kenneth would be proud