Debating

I've been debating over whether or not I should post this, because A) I don't want to seem like a whiner, and B) is it really anybody else's business? and C) does anybody else really want to know?

But oh, heck, I made this blog as more or less a journal that I just happen to invite other people to read. Kinda like the opposite of having one of those little locks and putting it under my mattress.

I'm finally out of Kaiser Permanente's icy, impersonal hand, and I went to my new doctor yesterday. Several things are slightly amiss: my blood pressure is high (and it's normally perfect), I have an irregular heartbeat (EKG revealed several additional beats in there), and my thyroid is perhaps working a little more than it ought. The doctor thinks maybe it's hyperthyroidism, which would explain the heart things, my struggles with weight even on a diet, my fatigue, and my anxiety.

It's strange, the timing of this appointment. I'm not so scared about my own health, just mystified. In fact, I feel so ungrateful for the body I've been given. I don't take care of it very well at all. Of course, my doctor thinks that with my schedule as it is, I'm doing a fairly decent job. But I know I neglect myself.

Most of you who read this know Jared and Skye and their current experience with cancer. The past few months I've reflected a lot about it.

The night before last I found out that one of my dear old friends (an ex-boyfriend, coincidentally) from BYU days has been diagnosed with Leukemia. He's only 23. He takes care of himself. He's full of life. He just started college in Hawaii. And now he's facing eight months of chemotherapy and hospital bills.

And I guess I'm kinda mad that someone whose body should be healthier than mine has been given such a horrible disease. And that someone who has a little baby should have it too. And what am I doing to take care of myself?

Not gross this time!

I looooooooovvee autumn.

The first day I step outside and smell the smell of October is one of my favorite days of the year...













The beautiful sunrises that I've been enjoying as I drive to work start my day off wonderfully...










The squash soup, the pink and red berries, the crunch of leaves underfoot, the anticipation of trees' color transformation, the wearing of sweaters and scarves, the smell of carved pumpkins, the visible puff of your own breath...













Oh, I love it, I love it all!


**I've decorated my classroom with spiderwebs, fake gourds (real ones would get stolen and smashed, unfortunately...), and orange leaf clusters (thank you Michael's 50% off sale!). My Smartboard looks like it lives in the forest. I have self-appointed decorating advisers that add little things every day. How many leaves are too much?

Turn away, those weak-stomached!

I'm home sick--a rare occurrence for a teacher. My voice is barely working, and even though I'm still functioning, the others told me I should take the day off and sleep in and watch cheesy tv shows. I'll take that.

*Do not read below if you get grossed out easily*
Unrelated news--last Saturday I inhaled a string. The resulting coughing fit caused so much pressure to my head that it caused a subjunctive hemorrhage.... which means that the capillaries in my eyes burst and bled between my eyeball and the thin, clear film that covers it. The picture below will help gross you out. It doesn't really hurt, but it's been a handy tool to win instant street cred with the boys at the school.










Don't worry, it'll go away in a week or two. No doctors needed.