Wednesday, January 25, 2006

I'm an idiot.

So, I work for a credit union now. I love all the people I work with, and we have stimulating conversations daily. Usually this is because it's slow, and there isn't much else to do but google and read the Times. Not that I'm complaining! For instance, I've been doing some research both on Egyptian gods AND ambergris. I started with ambergris, and moved on to the gods, thinking they'd be more exciting... but I was quickly bored and moved back to ambergris. For those of you who don't know, ambergris is a legendary substance found on the sea that is an expensive and rare ingredient in some perfumes. Only recently have they discovered what it really is. A story:

Bernard, the sperm whale, is on a trip around New Zealand when he comes upon a squid. Delicious! Bernard devours the creature after using his powerful fins and tail to chase it down, Discovery-channel style.
But... oh no! Bernard loves squid, but he forgets that squid bones agitate his stomach. He produces a greasy, foul-smelling, black, tar-like substance to help his poor tummy.
After he digests the squid, he pukes globs of this chunky stuff into the ocean. For years it floats around on top, and finally comes to rest on a beach thousands of miles from where he puked it. It ferments and hardens in the sun, and someone picks it up and smells it and lo and behold, it smells delightful! "I think I'll rub this stuff all over my body, it smells so sweet and lovely!" And Amber oil is born.

Lots of people prefer to rub it all over with patchouli, which is extracted from a plant that is from the east Indies. This is supposed to make them attractive to the other sex, or sometimes to the same sex. Sometimes these people are hippies. Hippies are people who believe in peace and love, and are hated by lots of yuppies, who believe in capitolism and money.

5 comments:

FireFly said...

I really like your whale story. Is it REALLY like that for reals?

Stargirl said...

yes! it's true! Names have been changed, though. ;)

paul said...

Save the squid pukin' whales!

kaarina said...

audrey, you make me laugh without fail! do you know that i still oooo and ahhh and coo & squeel with delight quite regularly over those baby porcupine pictures? i stole them & now i HAVE them on my computer, and i love them.

miss you!!

Stargirl said...

Oh, I miss you too! I know, I gaze lovingly at those baby porcupines. Have you named them yet?